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Why reluctant smile,chat,talk?

Hey,guys, so, today is friday!Happy Friday!Finally ended a week five days with class.I feel so relief every friday, because....you know?I love no class so much,I don't like the place like I not belong to.What should I do?seems I was not belong to anyone or the place. I really feel sad :( Is okay to be alone..Is okay...Really..
I really freaking not reconciled to every things that happen to me! What's wrong?! I can't even really told someone that my unfavourable situation, even my parents, I scare they worried of their daughter can't really socialize in the college...I am 18 years old this year,I don't want they thought me still need they worried or I still dont have my own ability to solve my things!when they ask me,I don't know how to say....Can I say "I know them but not very close with them,like I am left out when I'm with them"?  NO !I can't said that! "everything was just fined,and our friendship normal normal" this is what I said.Actually they don't even told me what are they talking and planning for...
I hate the feeling of being LEFT OUT! Did you know?!
One of the thing that I always curious to,why I always unpresentable the girl around me?Chasing by a swarm of bees?I'm not to attempt vainly got many bees love me, or faster get into a relationship,But AT LEAST,not as bad as zero of them ba?! HAHA..really laugh die me!I really a girl that very discrepancy ya?HAHA...fine!fine! The boys really stubbornly insist on one's own ideas ya,keep like all those hiao po enough liao!I am too good for you to love!Pui!NOT RARE pun! Don't regret what you did!!!ISHHHH!
Just can't type out all my feeling..haizz..this is just a part.
Everyone were keep posting about When the SPM result is release?, The marking standard of the SPM. and so on!This is so shit! really like a BULLSHIT ! I not even have eyes to watch my SPM result! I really Scared!scared!scared! Even though it is not important anymore, but I just scare,seriously..I scare I only get that few A....How I face people after that?lol..
They all sure come kepo kepo asking me or phone my parents that day,lolllll,I don't know why they are nervous my results than me..What's wrong to them?! Kepo is their fault!
 I WANT TO BE CUT OFF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD THAT DAY!!
Two weeks more..haizz...so worried and nervous,of course hope that I really can get good results ...at least the result still can see d..It's getting nearer.
Just FORGET me!

#Now playing  If you Say So-Lea Michele
 
And I can't get the last words that you said
Can't get those words out of my head
It's been seven whole days
seven whole days of pure hurt
And I can't get away from 
the burning pain a light you wake
and the fallen hero haunts my thoughts
If you say so.

 The part that describe my feeling right now.




Love,
Vivian

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