Vivianjiayi's thought

After a few days,my heart,my mind finally get to calm down. So, my SPM result I am not really satisfied at all, but what can i do? It already be a history of Jia Yi's Life! So just move on! One thing that always well cheer me up is my parents. The day of the results released, they scared me too afraid if  take results with all my friends,so they decided to fetch me to Taiping for awhile and bring me back before one. When the way I back from Taiping,I know SPM results came out and everyone except me knew about their results.They started to message me. This is what make me feel more even moody.I'm kinda afraid till I really cried at car after receiving stef and caro's phone call. I cried. Caro get really good results. It let me more afraid and I don't even want to message to get my results.My parents want me to message and let them see thn call me don't see.Actually everyone beside me get excellent results except me,this is what i thought after get to know everyone...

My feeling right now? Nervous  Nervous Nervous I really feel nervous now. Last few days ,I admit ,I really don't have so much feeling about it. But now?The day before tomorrow....I started to worry. Tomorrow is the day releasing of SPM results. Big day ya! I really very scare, I know it's useless to think so much as the result already fix. Okay, fine. Just relax and face it tomorrow. I just don't feel like wanna see anyone tomorrow as I scare. TT  I have nothing to say le...... God bless me tomorrow get a good result in my SPM!!  Bless me pleaseeeeeeeee...

Hey,guys, so, today is friday!Happy Friday!Finally ended a week five days with class.I feel so relief every friday, because....you know?I love no class so much,I don't like the place like I not belong to.What should I do?seems I was not belong to anyone or the place. I really feel sad  :(  Is okay to be alone..Is okay...Really.. I really freaking not reconciled to  every things that happen to me! What's wrong?! I can't even really told someone that my unfavourable situation, even my parents, I scare they worried of their daughter can't really socialize in the college...I am 18 years old this year,I don't want they thought me still need they worried or I still dont have my own ability to solve my things!when they ask me,I don't know how to say....Can I say "I know them but not very close with them,like I am left out when I'm with them"?   NO  !I can't said that! "everything was just fined,and our friendship normal normal" this is what...

I am not supposed to post something here since I lack of time, but I feel like want to split out all my feeling! Argh! It's tortured me! Feels like run away from all the assessment, assignment, journal, presentation and all those irritating things! Two days later is my first assessment of Biology and Math. But what had I done? I did nothing! really nothing! I feel useless , because I wasted my weekend like this, just like rotting at house. I just really lazy and sleepy. Just can't really pay attention, can't focused! I don't know why....really don't know why...I am scared! Can I just run away? I feel that I really sick of college life..TT how? So worried but just did nothing. Why am I changed? I thought college life is relax and flexible. Okay,  That's all false! I feel that I have much things to do, but I just don't feel like doing anything. What's wrong with me?! Seriously, I keep asking myself! ps. Will be back after tortured assessment, that'...