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Wonder why

Yea,as my title of this post,I really wonder why..wonder why I din't bump into the person,the friend that really know my strong points,my feeling,my thinking,my heart.Maybe I met them too in my past but just I din't realize?I really don't feel that I have LOL Maybe I am too sensitive on everything?Maybe I had put too much of hope on everything?Or maybe I shouldn't think so much?I don't know...I just keep wondering everytime.My mum said that I not enough attentive.Oh ya,maybe?But I feel and think details in doing anything leh...these not enough attentive yet ar?Yea,I lack of confidence in doing myself,doing everything.They just don't understand why I will lack of confidence.They don't know.If now every aspect of myself is perfect,I will be very confidence in front of everyone.But,for now?I'm not!Until now,I can't really know my own feature...I have a lot of friends,but I don't feel that I should put who higher place in my heart.I just treat them like normal,eventhough I gave them a status like best buddies,best friends..Because I know that they will leave me one day.In my heart,FRIENDSHIP will not be forever.I trust that they will choose to betray you if they found another benefit.So,sorry,I don't have any confidant.Caroline,Maybe she is?I mean now..almost nearer!because we always have the same mind and same characteristics.Then,she understand what I am thinking and how fear I am when I started to talk just some few words.I can't confirm yet,because You know?Never give permanent feelings to a temporary person. I'm really hard for people to understand me and of course I wish that someone will really understand my innermost being that I trying to hide and won't feel tired of keep understanding me.Someone told me that,you will let person beside you weary of keep trying to make you happy,thought of what you thinking in your mind without you say.But,I believe that this world will still have someone that really care of me and treating me like a princess eventhough my dress and body is get soaked,they will still lend me an umbrella,and say "Are you okay?"

 Just a random post about my feeling now.okay,I think should be stop now because I am going to bed due to I have class tomorrow morning.Oh,so sad..need to wake up early TT 

 Physically,mentally,emotionally tired.Sick of crying,tired of trying,yeah,I'm smiling,but inside I'm dying_That is me now.

#Nowplaying   All our endless love by The Bird and The Bee  <3

Sincerely,
Vivian 

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